All
poetry by "The Lost Poet" is protected by law from false representation, plagiarism and
tampering. Use of these works without the written permission from the author is
prohibited.
CHAIN July 10, 2001
Is that what we portray,
A chain ;
Forged links of steel,
That intertwine and interlink,
Becoming one from many.
WATERWAY July 10, 2001
If I'm too blind to see,
That this waterway as it seems to be.
Collected my dreams away from me,
Stole my identity.
Souls should run free,
Like birds out at sea.
I can't fathom such scrutiny,
As you ran and run out on me.
Now and forever you'll always flee.
I can't push them anymore, I can't be ;
This person you want in your destiny,
I don't wear my face well, yet alone casually.
I'm spent like a dime freely.
No change, no refunds, no rain checks you see ;
I'm too selfish to be me.
DON'T DO AS I July 10, 2001
There's a hunger that builds with anticipation,
It overflows my will and makes me what I'm not.
I don't pick flowers anymore, for little whores.
I'm not trying to please or overwhelm any.
Seeking an explanation I'm not.
If I temp you, you'll see me ;
Not as some poet but as a simple entity.
I lust for you, I can't deny.
I tried to explain it for a day
That ended in a mindful of what if's.
I'm me if you understand, just a mere man.
Don't run from my words, as I do.
Not this time,
Please not this time.
OF MY OWN July 10, 2001
I'm grieving the death of my own,
Walking down the isles of pews to where I rest.
Disillusion haunts your eyes,
When bye cares of others they start to cry.
I'm not,
I will never cry at my own funeral.
DIED HAPPY July 10, 2001
Run dog run,
Search the fields for fun.
Kept chained behind a fence,
You run and run for defense.
He'd beat you down with his hatred found,
Smack your nose when his kids were not around.
You did no wrong,
I'll write this song ;
And tell those who didn't see,
How mean this man could be.
He stopped at the creek,
For what seemed to be a week.
Drinking the water, taking a rest,
This is what free is, this is the best.
I'll never return, I'll never taste a hand,
I can live out here, life's far from bland.
This dog you see, lived for three alone.
He had no food, no shelter no bone.
You did no wrong,
I'll write this song ;
And tell those who didn't see,
How mean this man could be.
I die alone he said, my life is getting old,
That dog did die that day in the cold.
Died happy even though alone,
Cause the beatings the hatred had gone.
Run dog run,
Search the heavens for fun.
My friend you did no wrong,
I wrote this song ;
To tell those who didn't see,
Just how mean that man had be.
JED July 9, 2001
I'm sick of the I am's,
I'm tired, I'm alone, I'm self adored by my own words.
This man named Jed,
Once came home to bed.
Left his hand in one pocket,
Through his right in the other.
And it meant nothing to him,
Nor his love Kim.
His dog surely didn't care,
That his hands did dare ;
Hide from his fur to touch and caress.
No Jed believed not in selfishness.
Sitting in his chair amongst the flames of crackling logs,
His hands did chop on a cold Canadian winters frost.
Hands hidden in mittens,
Of which his love Kim did the nit'n.
He spoke in rhyme,
Three, four, five even times.
Hands still hidden beyond the meaningless action,
Yet to me and I and you maybe you'd think it's a distraction.
This man called Jed,
Who came home to bed, or so was said.
Didn't care,
Couldn't share ;
His disbelief onwards to those who passed by....
Those are me and I,
Writing about I and me.
Constantly,
Selfishly ;
Attempting to draw you near.
To hold your hands, my dear.
FOR FEAR July 9, 2001
I died last night then awoke,
I think I die every night.
It's insane to toss and turn a thousand times,
Wearing my sheets thin.
A thousand deaths hold my hands,
Trying to trick my emotions.
I can't close my eyes for fear I'll drown.
For fear I'll sleep.
THIRD PERSON July 8, 2001
Someone once told me to buckle up,
Don't drive off the bridge.
You've lived this long only to cut it short now,
Don't be stupid.
You and I were never naive.
What happened to you?
So she ran off with your best friend.
So she didn't want anything real.
So she wasn't who she said.
So she played with your head.
So she stole you, then gave you back.
In all that's how many now?
Five or six, and you're tired my friend.
I can't say you'll pass this tomorrow, yet today.
I can't hold you up while you try to live again.
Think where you'd be today,
Cold and alone with the worms hadn't I jerked that wheel.
When you hit your head on the dash did it knock some sense into you?
You cried for what an hour, did you black out?
The traffic went by so slowly then.
If I promise to be here, promise to hold you close ;
Will you promise me to try?
You can't die inside, keeping me here as an onlooker.
I won't watch you fail, when you are so close to the beginning.
Breath my friend, taste life on your tongue again.
Hold your eyes towards what beauty arises and kiss your thoughts.
You use to write such beauty, now it's morbid babble.
Someone told me once to buckle up before I left the bar,
I hit that embankment rather hard ;
So was the plan to spill my pain into the river.
I tried to die and you stopped me.
Someone told me to buckle up.
That someone was you,
That you was me.
LOST IN YOUR EYES July 8, 2001
I can grow,
I'll always grow.
I'm like a tree that feeds off the earth.
I water my brain with a few words and throw them onto some paper.
I got lost in a few songs today,
I played them over and over.
It's not that they reminded me of anything,
They just hit me and made me think.
Anything that makes me think is a passion.
Is it weird to say that songs and poetry is a turn on?
Do you hear me?????
Yeah it's your words,
I read them and try to feel what it was you feeling at that time.
Erotic to a touch, my eyes are turned on.
My brain lost into a daydream,
As I'm trying to picture how you would smell in the morning.
If I'm being less than bold tell me so,
Don't sugar coat me.
Do I scare you?
What I say, this honesty thing can I be frank ;
Just come out and say?
I want to so,
Yet I'm holding it in until I get up the courage to look over insecurities
And throw away this shy shield that hold my words in.
I can type, oh I can type forever and ever,
But if I was there looking into your eyes my speech would be suppressed
And my eyes would be the only thing talking.
Would that be enough?
Could you define my body language enough to feed off me.
When my face turns red and I look to the floor would you grab my hand as to say "it's okay."
I have a lot of questions, maybe too many.
It's easier to ask then to guess I suppose.
What is it you dream about?
Can you answer that?
I think I could, it may take some time but I'd spit out the phrase sooner or later.
I'll let you in, my door is partially open just push it open ;
There you'll find me hiding in the corner with a pen and paper.
I'll write what I see,
What I feel so I'll remember what to say when I get lost in your eyes.
PALE DAY July 7, 2001
It's a pale day,
The clouds are stealing all the light.
Walking around in my mind are memories.
Those we never took, pictures that is.
I still have them in my closet,
They knock on the walls for me to open the door.
"Let us out, we need to be seen."
I can't open my eyes, I plug my ears and hear the loudest silence ;
It echo's throughout my mouth.
I heard your name and my tongue got twisted,
As I bellowed your name in a drooling frenzy.
My mind likes to hurt my soul,
They'll never be as one.
And the fight of good vs. evil continues,
In my darkened room surrounded by a pale day.
LOST SOULS OF THE NIGHT July 7, 2001
Scared I'll forget what lost means,
I'll run into the dark and call for you to follow.
I'm weary and tired, tired of the endless feelings.
I've hurt, been hurt and now I'm ;
I'm alone.
I'm all alone here in my shallowness.
I'll call upon an echo, in hopes you'll recall it later.
To me this is what is meant by "use to."
I've never been any other way, is there another way?
I'm afraid I'll let it in again,
Caring and the package that comes with it.
Terrified it will never come, maybe it's lost in the mail?
Got delivered to some other lost soul,
She who also searches the night for accompaniment.
I'm not alone,
But it feels so.
READ MY MIND July 7, 2001
I'm about to dive straight into your pool.
Open your mouth and stream out the message.
Surround me with your cool water,
Refresh my mind and make me forget the reasons.
I'm about to take the step and leap.
Leap into your words, your arms and your senses.
Push me to see my meaning, I know you will tell my story before I go.
I'm about to live I think, will you show me your way.
Can I hop onto your path and hold your hand,
As you tell of why it took me so long to get there.
FINISH July 7, 2001
Enter my head,
Read my mind.
Tell me of how and why,
Things are just the way they are.
I'm quite sure you could read my palms,
Search my heart ;
Finish the start.
ALONG THE WAY July 6, 2001
I should have known all along,
Known that our star would slowly burn
And crash to the earth.
Taking out a few satellites along the way.
YEARS LATER July 6, 2001
Did I even sleep? I can't close my eyes without seeing a blurry vision.
Recorded pieces of our history in slow motion.
You're teasing my eyes with your touch.
Felt it then, feel it now but it's too many years later.
I should have said something, I should have said "NO."
Enough is enough, this mountain crest is too high to climb.
I'll stop here scream your name and jump off,
Falling upward cause downward seems all too easy.
Follow the hardest path, we and I and you chose it.
I'll follow the shallow of your back,
Back to my fingers to where myself is.
I'll hold you now like I did then, so many years later.
It should have been me, you never had to leave.
I'll visit you soon, put flowers next to your name,
Sing you a song and try to live without the verse.
I'll just fade this out, like it was your last breath ;
And then you died.................
WHERE IT LIES July 3, 2001
I can't sleep, could be the constant thinking of a nights trail.
I think it has to do with what my mind wonders on.
You can say it all in a few lines, anything goes.
I'm so envious, so touched by just a few phrases.
It's said in sweat drenched skin that touches and rubs against.
Moans and grunting that animals wail in the night.
Savagely biting and ripping, it screams my soul.
It's just words I remind myself,
And I awaken thinking I was so all along.
It was an ecstacy trip in my mind,
Surrounded by a few poems.
Satisfied I did so.
WONDER July 2, 2001
I sometimes just lie in bed,
And wonder if I'm dead.
Has the world passed me by,
How did I die.
I feel no life,
I feel no life.
WORD AND RHYTHM July 2, 2001
Polished my heart yet again,
Took a ride among the heavens to which I do not agree with.
I had to stay, had to say what it was I felt today.
I'm in an exhausted state,
You're word is sitting on my tongue,
Teasing me to enter.
The gates are taunting me to shed my skin,
I've entered a new state of mind, ecstacy invokes my thoughts.
I search a word, I say a phrase and it's all boggled.
You relate to what I can only dream.
I admire thought,
I lust meanings,
I remain in a passionate state ;
Of word and rhythm,
Satisfied.
DESK July 2, 2001
On my desk rests a plain green rimmed picture frame.
It has seen three pictures of supposed love.
I've changed it so often the clips in the back are worn.
Tossed aside are what was once looked at every time I wrote.
Hello my darling.
Good-bye to love once again.
I've tried to overlook the many,
I've cried too many times to a photo.
Good-bye to pale faces,
Faces who look beyond me ;
To someone else.
And there, in the somewhere else hangs the picture of her
On another's desk.
WHERE I WENT WRONG July 1, 2001
My head is cleared, I'm thinking to fast.
It's all rushing over my tongue,
It's all rising to the brink of intelligence.
You cared you idiot,
That's your problem.
You fall into there words,
Ride there magical ride till it gets a bit too much.
One decides this ride just isn't good enough and ditches.
I cared, that's where I went wrong.
ECOLOGICAL DISASTER June 30, 2001
You use to be a butterfly,
And like an evolutionary marvel you've once again shed your skin.
What has become of you?
You hate and blame,
Scream and rant.
It's okay to change,
Just remember who you once were.
I didn't make you,
You made yourself.
Don't scratch my name next too your failures.
I didn't fail you!
FAMOUS June 30, 2001
I've taken down the reminders,
Placed them away, stored with the other dust bunnies.
It squeaked when I opened the vault, the one that was my heart.
I've replaced it with a new improved version.
It beats only to my mind, nothing else it will find.
I've taken down the posters and words.
I'll stow them away from the world.
They say you only become famous after your death.
Like my words mean anything to anyone, anymore.
I've taken down all my past thrown it aside.
I'll awaken soon and jump on a new tide.
One that takes me all the way home ;
Not leave me behind for my soul to roam,
Endlessly becoming famous before my time.
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY June 30, 2001
I say to you my son,
Don't rely on love to fill your soul.
Never look back on what was told.
You will always have my arms to keep you warm.
Just remember what I said, be for warned.
I know at some time a girl will break your heart.
And like a fool you'll look to restart.
I'm always here to dry your tears.
Know that I've cried my share throughout the years.
I say to you my son,
Rely on family, they'll never steer you wrong.
When your down and out just sing our song.
You always have somewhere to rest your head.
Just remember what it was that I said.
Love is grand in all it's wonder.
It can't make you ever thing, it won't make you stronger.
But dad if your so smart then why do you cry.
I do this son so you'll understand why.
I, I, I, I, I June 30, 2001
I will not cry,
I will not cry,
I will not,
I will
SHAKE YOUR HAND June 30, 2001
I've seen and heard that death accompanies life,
Like friends they shake hands in the morning,
Hold each other throughout the night.
Wishing for one, use to be life.
Now I don't,
I don't feel life.
I've seen death,
It called my dream.
I lie there slowly beating my own fist with the other.
Looking up towards something that can't exist.
I'll pray now?
No, I'll laugh.
You can take me now.
I'll shake your hand, if you hold me throughout the night.
CINDERELLA June 30, 2001
I've made my bed
So that your head
May rest comfortably in this glass encasement I've built.
I've polished your shoes
For when company peruse
You'll look your best.
I never called you Cinderella
I never called you Cinderella
Oh Cinderella,
Make my bed
So I may rest my head.
POETRY GROUPIES June 30, 2001
I grin to you literary groupies,
You who wait around licking up the words I through away.
I smile to you,
You's who search for a single meaning to a complex situation through me.
I'm not, nor will I ever posses the power of the Gods.
You're beyond help, slumped downward towards the rotting flesh.
Like leaches you swarm around and attach yourself to us,
Feeding and feeding till you've become full of one ;
Then jump to another.
Beware my fellow poetic jesters,
The beast is loose.
ONSLAUGHT June 30, 2001
I use to care.
I don't anymore, care that is.
When you care you die alone, how many deaths?
Not enough, I've not felt enough pain yet.
I await and smile towards the onslaught.
Gather up your strength and whip me with your tongues.
I'll close my eyes and take it all,
Like the selfish prick I am.
REPRESSED PAST June 27, 2001
I opened a box full of past.
Ripped back the tape and peered inside.
Old bank statements, old bills, tickets from the races where we spent our week-ends.
Past tears revisited my stature, I continued on.
Letters and notes you use to leave on our table before you left for work.
Chris, I took out some burgers for supper. See you when I get home, Love........
Closed my eyes and pulled up that envelope, "Don't open this till you get there okay."
This was on the front, I wrote it when you went away that June.
I didn't open it, I remember what I said.
I told you how proud I was, how this is what we needed.
This time apart will make us stronger, make us see what we have.
We were never the same, that time could be the blame.
I snapped out of my coma.
It's just a box of memories, repressed yet again.
I CAN ONLY June 26, 2001
I can only emphasize how much I love you, like if I don't I'm afraid you'll run away.
I can only wish every wish that our love is strong enough not to break the ring.
I can only wait and wonder how long until life becomes normal again.
I can only sit and listen to your pain, knowing that nothing can fix it.
I can only type what I should be saying to your face.
I can only work as many hours as I can to keep my mind off how much I miss you.
I can only wake up and feel the same as when I went to bed, alone.
I can only run every situation through my head so many times.
I can only hope you're not crying.
I can only guess everything is okay.
I can only go through so many boxes of snot rags.
I can only send my words in an envelope.
I can only daydream your smile.
I can only remember your touch.
I can only offer you myself.
I can only give you my love.
I can only hope that's enough.
YEAH June 25, 2001
I don't know what to do anymore,
I'm lost, yet again....
Seems there is nothing I can do,
My hands are tied.
This makes me so mad,
To know just how sad ;
You are.
IT'S JUST LIKE... June 25, 2001
I worry,
Sometimes so badly my stomach opens and pours onto the floor.
It's just like I was gutted,
And my inner's spill into my hands.
I worry till my own death is oblivious,
To how others feel.
I try to take away there pain,
And place it with my own.
I worry sometimes I'll understand,
Understand why and not be able to react.
It's just like I was dead all along,
And just realized it.
BEYOND THE PATH OF UNKNOWN June 23, 2001
I look downward to a blackened scene of whole.
Rewind how it took so long to get here,
Look into that crystal ball of lies and deception.
It's clouding over, you can smell the storm.
Figures it would do so now, alone in the woods.
I'm scared of what lies beyond what I can see,
Lost to where I am, and I look around for some kind of familiarity ;
I look around for your hand to grasp and make me continue.
Push me down this isle to where eternity waits to call my name.
A THOUGHT June 22, 2001
I just want to wrap myself in you,
And hide from it all.
LIFE WITH LIFE June 21, 2001
It's a scared reaction like when the can of pop explodes in your lap when you open it.
When you are afraid to blink incase you miss the most important scene of the day.
Kept looking above for simplicity when none can be constructed.
I can only dance a star and fling my heart in your direction,
Will you grab it and place it with yours?
I can't think straight, I get lost on a gravel road and it's behind my house.
I trance out, blocking all that is bellowing around me and just breath in your aura.
I live today hopping that tomorrow will encircle us.
I lust for a routine,
Remain hopeful that you'll be here when I awaken from this comatose state.
Place my hand among your skin and feel me tremble.
Hold my heart, it tells our fortune.
You are my scared reaction, the one that exploded my life with life.
ANOTHER DAY June 18, 2001
It's insane to live without you,
It's another day I wish I wasn't.
I WILL DO June 17, 2001
Singing aloud brings tears.
Those songs, those lyrics break my speech.
It hurts to remember great memories,
Only cause they're memories when what I need is actuality.
I'll sing to pass time with intentions of a quick love story.
I'll write till my mind grows cold from words.
I'll pass the time reminiscing.
I'll practice what I'll do when the time comes.
I'll sing to drown the tears.
3000 MILE SHAKE June 17, 2001
I need to hold her close,
Like if I let go she'll be gone forever.
I've lost a few times, won once.
She was the prize and I left it behind.
I clutch my pillow and shake,
My dreams compare to torture.
I see her, I touch her, I'm loving her ;
Till I awake and see she's no where to be found.
HOPE AND WISH June 17, 2001
Walked today,
Tried to free my mind.
Less was better I guess,
I should have ran back to her.
I could have done something different.
It's an alter ending, the ones that make me worry.
I just need to hope and wish, just like Ani said.
Walked out of a dream today,
Fell short and I needed to hear her voice.
US June 17, 2001
Life began when our eyes met,
When your body shook mine.
When sweat and tears blended together to make a salty stream.
Life as bleak as it was, has now bloomed into a new meaning.
Breathing your essence has replenished my days.
It's a lifetime of dreams stored on your soft lips ;
Life begins with us.
(To: Angie)
EXISTED LOVE June 16, 2001
They said she existed,
Though I demised such fiction as such ;
Boasted wine filled jargon.
It's a good thing they tied me down,
They speaking of those who hold my strings and guide my life.
I could have left behind my oxygen and died gasping for her.
Alas I visited the garden of Eden,
I tasted the forbidden fruit and felt love.
She is that missing part of my life,
She will always be the smile that guides my weary eyes.
She's a champagne kiss in the morning dew.
Existed love,
It's her and I mixed together on a water colored pallet.
Picturesque, to say less.
Matted in the stars for kindred spirits to view. (To: Angie)
FALLEN June 13, 2001
Alas I've been hooked,
Drawn by mouth and caught.
Her smile has melted the doubts,
It released my soul.
I'm falling,
I've fallen in love with you. (To: Angie, I love you so much boo!)
OKLAHOMA NIGHTS June 11, 2001
Another warm Oklahoma night has been whisked away by the sun.
Peering from over the three hills that exist in Lawton.
Awakened by the foot stomping of children in the apartment above us,
I reach over and grasp tightly onto my life saver, (her)
And begin to watch as the clock counts away my warmth.
She awakens and smiles, (I know she's hurt)
"Don't leave" she says,
And it kills me to respond but I had too.
I clench onto her and kiss her forehead,
If somehow she will understand just how much I love her,
Then my job will have been accomplished.
That last good-bye could never have been practiced in any Romeo's tongue.
Simplified kiss a hug and the I love you's.
My eyes still water when I replay her smile in my mind. (To: Angie, I wrote this on the plane back to Canada)
DEPARTURE June 10, 2001
Sleeping beauty resides mere touches away.
I'm for-blown of her mere essence,
Finding myself glaring into her eyes for a simplified meaning.
Meaning of me and her and a question pops from my lips.
If life started today ;
When oh when shall it be ripped from my grasp.
I pause and watch her sleep,
And forget that my plane leaves in a day. (To: Angie)
BEHIND May 30, 2001
It's all or nothing so I say to myself.
Reaching for a rope to guide my actions.
It's black in here,
Wet and cold.
It's sad in here,
Blackened reasons with no one to hold.
It's said to me ;
Free the mind and you'll receive yourself,
To which be true.
Alas I'm here,
Waiting to grab life and hold on for eternity as it shifts and turns.
Always look behind yourself for it's there you see what you left behind.
I AM BUT May 30, 2001
If I not a man,
Then stricken with such loss of identity,
Then I am but myself.
NOT MINE May 24, 2001
I too have become what I feared,
This lifeless shell that takes up space.
I've wasted so many minutes asking for more time,
Yet I still sit here typing away at an unforgettable keystroke.
I am this,
Lost amongst lived years and broken breath.
I am that,
Pierced soul that cries for finality.
If that and this have become me,
What if any have I done?
It's all too perfect a question and an answer can be lied.
It's all lies I swear,
Think back to when you remember truth and can you?
I too have become what I feared,
Personally acted sketches of a life which is not mine.
QUEEN OF DENIAL May 22, 2001
I placed my best fake smile upon my face,
Walked up and bid you fellow hello.
When beneath my breath I was humming your death.
My blood boils to the point of explosive rage when I learn of your forth comings.
I'm not blind, nor dumb.
Not so dumb as to see what this is, this evil eyed glare you share.
Happiness is best fit behind a cloud of smoke I guess.
It seems to be easier to bind with old pain then to cast on new memories.
I now not the king of your hardship, but the pheasant who begs for royal bread.
With your plans of kingdom ship in the tale all have read my past looks,
They now see I was right when I spoke hatred in your name.
It's all a fairy tale from the gates of hell,
And you belong where you are afraid as always.
In wonderment do you of what happiness is,
For you've never nor will ever fully define such.
MAN ON THE PORCH May 19, 2001
I wonder while they're parading down the street,
I think of how they must feel.
Carefree days of clothing wars,
Family trees that are severed or a few years.
It's a teen filled dream they say.
I asked once, "Will I become that man on his porch who complains about the youth?"
It appears I've become such,
I said I never would.
MONDAY May 19, 2001
Whispered Monday,
Dragged seconds that begin to freeze.
Regular days never visit my statue,
Looked at from afar it's a cemetery view.
Perfection is a stone that rises from the ground,
It never was till saw or stored into a collection.
It's a day like any other,
A Monday whispered from my mouth.
A day like any other,
In a grave above the ground.
NEVER BE AGAIN May 19, 2001
It came,
The night.
Beauty revered with the reflection in your eyes.
Paused cause I couldn't breath,
Looked away cause I couldn't see my own meaning.
I noticed the moon was jealous and the stars snubbed at you.
It came,
I saw the night in your eyes and the moon will never be the same.
YOU, THE OMEN May 12, 2001
Think of the thought,
Then think about the mirror you through.
Smashed shards on the floor lay as a constant reminder of you,
The omen.
Bad look?
Yeah for years and the shards still lay as the falling.
Think of the thought then conti plated the fate of such.
It cuts and bleeds.
HOW LONG WAS IT? May 12, 2001
Take my hand,
Jump into this meaning.
We ran through the bad,
Rested upon the good.
I'm on the side of the road waiting for you.
Remember when I ran out?
How many years ago was that?
I can't remember.
VENT May 9, 2001
I can't think of any reason not to.
The others that saw words of discouragement,
Then I look blank like I can't hear them over the fifty other drunks who visit the save dive we all grew up in.
I say to you the faint,
Those who's hearts are being held with the clutches of another.
I say to you!
Remember when you asked all the fallen questions.
When, why, how?
The sleepless nights have all but vanished when the flower opened.
Take a picture to save and look back on that look of loneliness,
You see me!
Don't feel for me,
Reflect on that reflection in your beer.
The one that tells the tales from my unwritten book,
Self titled of course! (the lost poet)
When you reach inside I hide,
Reason?
To whom is this person who knocks at my gates,
And why after so many years have you found your way home?
You got lost along the way,
Fell in love and died among the others.
They all walk in petals and we're left to pick up the smashed stems.
It's not that you don't understand,
It's that you don't remember the pain.
That means everything.
FIVE LIES May 9, 2001
I once recall an action I made while tweaking my mind with the grasses of old.
Thoughts and dreams converge on a path and they fight for reality.
Such it seems has made peace within my skin,
Oh how it was and then gone till another flip flopped collection of fear emerged.
I once recall this through the times come five fold each time the stories are written.
Hence life becomes another novel for sale in a box marked fifty cents.
HEY May 8, 2001
I was scared maybe you forgot my name.
You looked back at me twice,
I felt that uncomfortable pause.
The one where you search for the beginning to a hello.
Yet it's always the same wave with a shallow "hey".
DYING BEAUTY May 8, 2001
Rain, days without.
Things of new, new with life have shriveled and died.
Patches of brown dot the landscape and they cry dry tears.
Nature is so cruel,
And yet she's portrayed as beauty.
Yet maybe she is,
But without rain to wash her dirt ;
She's just another crude introduction to an already filled explanation for life.
DAILY GRIND May 6, 2001
Continuously bruising my own bones,
Sweat till I can't sweat another sweat.
Everyday it's a pleasurable torture.
Conclusion?
Hopes that someday I'll see what I saw once.
Wishes that I'll stomach my own reflection in her eyes.
WANTING TO PLAY May 5, 2001
The pixies last dance in the forest,
One day came the next too fast.
Alas the final fall,
Bellow the call from eastward.
The lights grown dim and the songs disappeared.
Flight for the night has all but delighted those who care not,
The pixies to them are pests better left for bug zappers.
It's chronologically written as such,
Men fear that which carry hope,
Give out joy without probably causes.
The myths and legends of all that means science,
Was never bound in understandable books.
There was no midterm set on hopes and dreams,
It's hypophysis is simple to us,
But to them it's lost on jokes with coffee.
It all came too fast one day,
And we forgot somewhere along the way,
That we're all children in giant boots wanting to play.
IT'S NOT May 5, 2001
I thought I could go,
Move along without your push.
This smile that use to warm my life has vanished.
I've longed for the rain,
Searched the night for that star.
It's clouded over,
I thought I could live ;
Without you it's not.
MILLION WORDS May 1, 2001
Enough said,
My actions speak the million words I can't.
She knows I love her.
My eyes describe the million things I can't.
She knows my breath is hers.
Enough said.
MY HEART TOLLS May 1, 2001
If it's so hard to understand then I'll be struck,
Lifelessly roam the day in search for her gentle touch.
Maybe she'll say the words to open me and I'll fly towards enlightenment,
Kissing the wind that touches my face.
Savior of my written scroll, my heart tolls for you.
Here I await,
Here I await us.
100 YEARS May 1, 2001
I just don't awake, it's so surreal.
I'd invoke the morning, but night reaches for my bones.
It's habit,
Running with a reason.
It's habit,
Making up reasons........ Why!
Maybe I'll try to live 100 years today,
And write a song to describe my wrinkles.
A POETIC THOUGHT AMONGST HER April 29, 2001
It's too bad you can't see stars with the naked eye in the light of the sun.
THE FOX ASSASSIN April 29, 2001
The gun that is my pen,
Filled with words for bullets that shoot your emotion.
Hurts to feel doesn't it?
I'm an assassin,
Lurking in the darkness behind the warm glow of a monitor.
I'm a fox,
Hiding behind that cedar stump awaiting to pounce.
I'm a love and a hate combined to make a cake.
Something no one can eat.
(To: All those who read, but don't understand.)
FRED FLINTSTONE THUMB April 26, 2001
Frustration begins when you run out of things to smash.
When all four letter words have been used in every phrase possible.
I think when your face begins to burn from rage and your ears tremble.
Yeah it's time to take a break!
Time to bandage up that throbbing thumb.
PRIZE TO BE April 23, 2001
Squint your eyes through your palms and see new.
Things of small, natures call, it's all for you.
Chambers chant of a long lost dance,
And the fire arouse around your presence.
Frolicking butterflies play tag with fireflies,
And the stars fall away in the sky.
It's lost and found my life's abound,
It's always been with you around.
I squint my eyes with hopes you'll appear,
And I know this day is soon to be near.
When the stars will speak,
And my heart will squeak.
For your prize to be,
Dear, is of all of me.
THE WAY I AM April 23, 2001
I guess,
Well I assume that I shouldn't expect more.
You don't know me at all.
Had you known,
You would have known it's me,
It's the way I am.
Maybe you assume I'm something I'm not.
It's upsetting to say the least.
I THINK THEREFORE I AM April 22, 2001
I think a part of me died,
Or was left behind in this dream.
I remember seeing the sun and wondering why,
I remember seeing life being reversed.
Everything that touched me left,
And I was standing alone in a pile of black.
I awoke again
Without you
DISTILLED BEAUTY April 16, 2001
A rose died,
So you could breath a thousand petals.
(To: Angie)
REASONING April 16, 2001
It's full of shit,
This life of imaginary justification.
Living out an ouji board expectation.
Think,
Thought,
Reason! Reasoning!
Seems easy in the cold to wear a sweater.
I'd think it's called common sense,
But I don't posses such, do I?
Living the lie.
THREE DAYS April 15, 2001
Lying there sweating and freezing from the chills,
Wheezing, my eyes won't focus.
I've had 3 days,
Three days to think and rethink my life.
I see you, I see us, I see forever in a three day thought.
I'm lost, my mind is wish washed.
I've not eaten in three days,
I've not smiled in three days,
I've not awoke.
I remember sitting on a bridge watching the water swallow the banks,
I remember seeing your face in the haze from the sun.
I remember your eyes, your lips and your smile.
I had 3 days,
Three days alone in a bed,
Sweating and freezing from the chills.
Your soul kept me warm baby.
I saw you, I saw us, I saw forever in a three day thought.
CLOSER, CLOSER, CLOSER April 10, 2001
It's a snowball,
Starts as a pea ends as the sea.
A sculptures hand chips away at the non existing pieces.
They lie discarded on the ground.
Who decides this?
Who has the right to say "throw that away."
I guess they don't care, maybe they weren't taught such.
They (those who pull my strings) tease me with all.
In all meaning love and such.
Come closer, closer, closer ;
Ripped away before closer becomes comfort.
I've always been a picture in an artists eye,
Clay laying on a table ;
Awaiting her hands to mold my dream.
THE CHILDISH ONE April 9, 2001
You laugh and point,
Scold the child in me and make him hide.
I'm a childish man in a three piece suit,
Awaiting my pal bearers to deliver my soul.
Silver platters await you, hand and foot no doubt.
You laugh and point,
Making me look away in embarrassment.
I didn't get the manual,
I'm lost on the side of the road and the map is in Japanese.
My life is a joke, as compared to?
You laugh and point,
And I'm sick and twisted,
I'm the childish one!
TRY TO RECALL April 9, 2001
The sickness that bounds every little thought,
Good or bad.
Yes it reminds you of something,
Things you did or maybe didn't do.
Think hard and try to recall,
You can't can you?
It's that sickness that sits in your guts,
It rotates your emotions like flat tire.
Good nor bad,
It's always sad,
And when oh when will I recall?
E April 7, 2001
I miss the feeling of delusion,
Stumbling into parking meters.
Youth filled nicotine smoke rings that float into the lights.
Speaker dancing in the deafening D J craze.
I'm caught in a back beat ;
Arms in the air, my legs won't move.
I see her through the smoke and strobes.
Remember me?
I'm a memory you lost.
JUNGLE April 7, 2001
Among you I rest
Thinking I'm a rock
When I'm a clam ;
Open and closed.
CYAN SUNSET April 6, 2001
I look up and see your face,
I imagine that smell of tangerines.
I close my eyes and try to imagine your touch.
I start to get goose bumps, and my hand trembles.
I look up and god,
There you are looking right at me.
It's heaven on a screen,
A dream while still awake.
It's a love,
It's you and me blended together ;
Like a cyan sunset,
Painted by our souls.
CAN'T SPEAK April 4, 2001
I'm opening this again,
Put my foot forward and walked through the arch.
I had this book with your name on the cover,
A diary so to speak.
When we parted I read it for hours,
Forgetting what I felt was hard.
It found it's way to a dark corner,
Left to collect dust.
You walked back through the mirror,
And stole my words yet again.
I can't speak I'm scared,
Scared I'll lose the happy ending.
HELLO April 1, 2001
Hello she said,
I'm your life.
Hi I replied,
I'm your night in a muscle shirt and khakis.
She laughed.
Hello she said,
I'm your soul.
Hi I whispered,
I'm your Canadian mount me police.
She laughed.
Hello she said,
I'm your dream.
Hi I sang,
I'm your life,
Your soul,
The one you dreamt for.
She smiled.
Hi I said,
I'm here where do we begin?
We already have you whispered, we already have.
