All poetry by "The Lost Poet" is protected by law from false representation, plagiarism and tampering. Use of these works without the written permission from the author is prohibited.

ALL THE FEAR November 8, 2001

Loves suicide,
Wild ride.
Felt invincible for a day.
All things drain away,
End in some fashion ;
Just too soon.
My tears won't dry
Before the day ends.
My head won't clear
All the fear.
Loves suicide,
Life's hectic dream.

BROKEN SOUL October 30, 2001

Souls breaking
To the beat of your drum.
Fingers pointed
Towards your face,
I've grown numb.

Victim to your ways,
Castaway ;
Betrayed.
Another lonesome
Broken soul,
To which you've
Eaten whole.

DAYS OF SHADOWS October 29, 2001

Pry inside
To where I hide,
Unaware of the life
I use to give.

Happy once was,
A chore now begins.
To right a wrong,
Where my life now ends.

I now know
That years gone,
Now have replenished
My soul.

Alone no more,
I remember
Days of shadows ;
I'll never forget.

FATE DEFINED October 27, 2001

Fate is a three dollar kite,
Held by a child's hand.

FEAR OF SOCIETY October 27, 2001

When I think too much
I scare myself back to reality.
It's dark in here,
Yet so bright outside.

LEFT BLIND October 27, 2001
I know someday
I'll walk by and there she'll be.
This person that awaits
My eyes to find there's.
I just hope time doesn't
Leave me blind.

TILL I AWAKE October 27, 2001

Angel
Who temps me with feelings.
Leave my realm!
For you tease me with gifts.
Paradise exists only in minds that live.
I won't become fallen into you're trance,
Again ;
Over and over,
Till I awake later
With your wings.

CHOKING ON REALITY October 27, 2001

Alone in the arms of one,
My own.
Twisting fate as it seems,
Back and forward.
Trying in fact to remember
Why it is I care.
Feeling drugged!
My own mouth lashes out
Towards my soul.
In lasting moments
Of a tranquil state.
Alas I'm stoned ;
Again.
Before I forget
This loneliness,
I'll dream a life
And rape my mind.

ONLY FRIEND October 26, 2001

I wish for the eyes of a few,
To view
My life's pain cork screwed
Into times horrid chew.
Borrowed time
Wasted in rhyme
Of wet and cold
In your hands mold.
Cut ties,
Lies.
Ill tempered screams,
Forgotten dreams.
Alone again ;
My only friend,
Smokes yellow-y clouds
Frowned mothers proud.
Stoned faced insane,
My brain.
Clicked on a line,
For the last time.
Warmth of a touch,
Souls missed so much.
Rest my thoughts,
Which you bought.
Return my life again,
My only friend.

DEAR FLY October 26, 2001

Fly on my wall
Whom rests so small
Throughout it all
Remain so tall.

These tears you see
That my eyes do bleed
Mean nothing to me
That's all this be.

I rest my head
Pillowed on my bed
Among the living dead
For whom my soul they've read.

My search for loves gift
Has sent me adrift
Though I look and thrift
It all seems a myth.

Dear fly on my wall
Remember it all
So when the end does fall
I'll be worth the call.

CURSED BE THY NAME October 19, 2001

Things could be worse I say
Courageously staring into my sons eyes.
Candid I may be.
Seldom seeking a kiss
Not that I don't want,
That I can't have.
I tire from this planet
It's constant pull upon my heart.
Drug through this and of that.
It beats erratically
Skipping through the puddles in a park.
Stepping on a dream,
Pulled and pried my fingers bare.
I followed you from beginning to that dreadful end.
And I'm still holding on to a moment,
One that's been frozen in my thoughts.
I can't move forward,
Backwards,
Sideways,
Up or down.
Stuck like a statue
Watching as my life speeds away.
Stand tall they say,
Reason with yourself.
I battle my own hands,
I hate my own face.
I'm alone
Alone to my touch.
Speak to my ears!
Sick of listening to my own babble.
Tears fill my pillowed dreams.
Nightmares frequent my day,
Lived everyday.
My courage strives to break free.
Held back by my pessimistic fears.
How can I satisfy anyone,
When I'm too scared to speak.
My mouth drops a tone
Though deaf to all it seems to never be heard.
Cried for a year one night,
Caught myself shivering like a baby.
There faces etched in my grey eyes
I can't escape the torture left behind.
One sentence phrases that stopped my heart.
Packed up baggage,
The empty places you once were.
I stand in dust glaring onward
Hoping I'll snap out of my shock,
v Today,
Tomorrow,
It's been a few years
My jaw still jitters.
Your picture's kept near,
As a reminder that my soul bleeds.
Diseased I am,
Loneliness runs my days.
Self conscious views slay me.
Confidence becomes scar se
Things could be worse ;
I'll always curse my name.

MOON FRESHENED SKY October 17, 2001

Rising sun
I make fun of you.
I'll live today till nightfall reins,
Then return to my grave heartless.
Moon freshened sky
I'll curse your prize ;
That my heart will bleed alone.

DON'T WANT TO FEEL October 15, 2001

I don't want to feel,
Yet I have too ;
And it's that realism that haunts me.
Cause I don't want to feel,
And I know I'll have to come to grips,
To extinguish this pain.

SEE THE MISTAKE October 15, 2001
I'll gladly die a soulless frail bodied man than spend my life kissing your feet,
Wondering how long it will take for you too see the mistake,
Then come crawling back slithering like the snake you portray.

TO PURGE ONESELF October 15, 2001

Painted pictures on a wall,
Faces with smiles turned upside down.
Piss on it,
Life ;
Another pushed button on a feeling,
And I hate to feel.
Everything sucks it seems anymore.
Care, I can't,
Worries stoke the fire in my veins.
I purge my soul,
I die ;
Alone without fear.

REMAIN October 12, 2001

Remain,
My life's revealed.
Passion exits my eyes,
To now I'm black of coal.
Pessimistic on coming,
Boarding the train to a lost memory.
That I'll be,
For all to see!
Remain free from a love's torturistic view.
Hence the mistakes you take granted for today,
Yet yester's year it was okay...
I remain on the train,
You never came.

AWAITED LOVE October 12, 2001

I've opened myself,
Pealed back this progressive wound for salt's kiss.
Surfacing is the abundance of memories,
Too attached to a face and a smile ;
A care that once touched me.

Here now are shattered hopes.
Be still my mind I pray,
Let the wind drift my timeless cries.
I'm just the wounded heart,
Breathless to your name.

I've re-opened myself,
Zippered back my wounds.
I'm a closed book,
Unreadable ;
Of a dead language only you spoke,
Only you understand.

I though once to many times.
I recalled a beautified rose and a death foreshadowed.
Actions persist,
I climb a wrung less ladder,
Though to my eyes I see progress.

Opening oneself to accept the sea,
I await your time.
Await your "Pale September."
Wear the time,
Bier my wounds.
I say never again ;
Oh never again.

Preach what's spoken from my tongue.
You can't pop in and out of my depressive lyrics.
I'm justified I accuse.
Myself opened once again,
Unleash the pain ;
I'll relive my death.

OPEN FOR INTERPRETATIONS October 8, 2001

Every time I hear you voice
I think I'm in love.
I walk a thin line between rational thought
And that of a rain filled day.

We use to play the game,
Cheated characters to whom a day was never enough.

I want to think I'm in love,
I too wish for your voice .
That which tells me I'm ready ;
I am.

STAR CROSSED October 8, 2001

Trying to decipher a wished hope,
Thus looking beyond a fictitious cause ;
Beyond a heart,
Beyond a loved eye.

Star crossed lovers rehearse the parts ;
Blessed by the plays of them
And of whom praise them.
Recline from views and sleep silently ;
Oh love...

I write to thee in my mind.
Write of times though despair arises.
Faces dawn your's,
Even though I see no one.
It's of this wish and hope,
This written logic that replies with shaken voice.

I too bleed ;
Of love.
I too wish of thee to be with me.
Casual inter-being,
Remembering a play of star crossed lovers
Who's paths crossed in a timeless sky.

Thus of wish and hopes ;
Thus survives my mind.

FROM END TO BEGINNING October 8, 2001

I chased my shadow down a path,
Revealed to me slowly is a changed view.
Simple is such ;
This being you.

Complexities swallow wishes whole,
Rewinding the play we once saw.
From back a day we embraced the ending,
Now searching the path that housed our start.

LOVES VIEW October 8, 2001

In timeless exchange,
Gazing upon a life's past
I recall the season's ;
I recall a love in recent passion.

Forgotten was the thrill,
The disclosed face that remembered mine.

The world is just a star,
Viewed by a few ;
Who believe
Loves reach is real.

I CAN October 5, 2001

My minds mirror projects her face.
Once erased by emotion it's blur focus's the beauty.
Late night escapes within my own fantasies have left me happy.
Hands cupped, lips filtered words that rise above the clouds.
Significance would seem weird in my own dream,
Never touched something so real ;
Yet I could never truly feel you so.
My mirror's crack continues to shatter,
This of all is what is the matter.
You and I,
This of that and we still cry the same tears we shed just weeks before.
Focused on facts where fiction was more the novel's touch.
I can grow as you water my roots,
I can love my dream as long as you come back.

MIDNIGHTS LETTER TO HER October 5, 2001

I once saw a star,
From afar.
Not of planets celestial wonderment of a scientific hypophysis.
I stare for fear of when I blink the pass will sur-come.
Rest pause and gave with that of yester's old newspaper head lines.
You appear for a star and shine above and beyond my eyes sight.
My heart now see's and takes photo's for the rest of me to enjoy.
I'm a boy,
A toy's marvel arrested in a suspended world of this ;
This is you.
Stars captivated light to share my eyes love.

EVERYDAY CRIME October 5, 2001

We bid hello to nameless faces every minute of everyday ;
Yet pass by those to whom say hello first.
We Dismiss the vacant facial features we once knew by the night of hand,
Human nor beast we've taken ;
Granted is a gift
Love is a crime.

SELFISH HAPPINESS October 4, 2001

I look outside right now on a world that asks too many questions,
Lives too quickly and I?
Well I just write the stories that they read,
And if they have time maybe they'll think about what it was I said.
Maybe I'll have touched someone tonight, or made someone smile ;
Maybe that person is me.

FALSELY ACCUSED October 4, 2001

I'm tired of thinking of something to put down here that will keep your eyes afloat
While in the back of your mind you're scared as to find out who I really am.
Tantalizing isn't it?
And then I'll just fade away into the night taking your mind with me,
Teasing it with my electric phrase.
Just then, just then it happens.
The point where you can't turn back and it's become more than anyone can handle,
The breaking point when one says we've gone out too far, there is no return ;
And you drown in sorrow trying to find your way back home.
Endless terror is life and we live it so falsely.

JUST A THOUGHT October 4, 2001

Maybe I can sleep tonight
Knowing she'd sing to me amongst the crowd of people that gathered around.
Sing aloud during the darkness of night until the morning kiss's the dew.

ONLY TIME October 3, 2001

I'm wanting,
Selfishly wanting.
I'm wishing,
Casually wishing upon a fiery rock.
I'm walking,
Swiftly walking with my mind lagging behind.
I'm wondering,
Torturously wondering if my reflection is in your eyes.
I'm remembering,
Routinely remembering this fragrance that was you.
I'm writing,
Timely writing about our time.

WEATHERING September 26, 2001

The pause,
Awkwardness in a silence.
Paused for one and awaited praise,
None is needed.
The restfulness of a fall evening,
Where the temperature dips and trips.
Your breath walks along the air,
Skipping towards the trees.
Sitting alone waiting for a sign.
Incumbent,
I'm a weathered statue.

TO FEEL FOR YOU September 26, 2001

I'll say it nicely,
I hate you.
Trying to be sweet has never been my portfolio,
Yet I tried.
Change seems distinctly stupid to me,
So I won't.
How selfish can one be?
Me.
I loved you once,
Trusted you twice.
Now I'm just a kite.
I flop and twiddle in the tease of the wind,
Alike that was you.
You,
This hate.
Seems rather strong a word,
Yet it never could fulfill my thoughts.
My hatred burns your face,
This face that I remember in my sleep.
Nightmares always followed my heart.

D.O.A September 24, 2001

It's a rose's death of morbid causes,
This the story of natures renewal.
Beauties death paused in an instant moment,
Caught in time as a black reawakened marvel.
It's a wrinkled life slowly bleeding,
Dripping it's essence towards the earth.
I'm captivated,
Caught in time ;
Witness to natures homicidal tendencies.

DEATHS HOPE September 24, 2001

It's in this bottle,
The little bluish greenish deep colored glass.
Holding the peace and hope of a life,
Life that you wished
Then prayed,
And it appeared.
Scared too look inside,
Terrified you'll see what you dread.
Your head beneath the sea drowning with a breath,
Lasting long enough to see your life flash ;
Fading,
Then it's gone
Forever.

LIL MAN September 15, 2001

Sleep tight this night my lil man.
I'll be here when your eyes peer among the light.
I'll hold you ever so tightly as you wrap your arm around my neck.
It's the smile you share and the constant stare.
Sleep tight tonight my lil man.
For when you rustle I'll awake.
I'll grab your hand and hold,
I'll cover you up with my warmth and love.
Sleep tight my lil man.
As I dream I see you all grown,
Sitting next to a crib repeating to your son ;
Sleep tight this night my lil man.

NO ONE CAN HOLD September 15, 2001

Remembrance in a shimmer,
And water can't be held in my hands.
It flows through the cracks and crevasses,
Dispersing along a memory.
I've dressed up my actions,
Played chess in my mind.
I've always became someone else to keep an eye,
Always agreed on the moment even though inside it was a lie.
I cropped my own face and replaced it with what was thought something better,
Alas I was the executioner to my own self controlled demise ;
Hence now I know,
Yes know I know.
I'm the shimmering water in hands,
That no one can hold.

SANDS IN THE HOUR GLASS September 10, 2001

I guess I'm naive to say in best words,
Naive to swallow in your youth.
I've become this man who reclaims his innocence,
Searching relentlessly for this preeminent princess.
I want to ravage you in a heated exchange,
Trying to describe what I want without offending those who watch me.
Scared I'm wasting my time,
Time of time has all been drained and it filters through my fingers like sand.
It feels like I've come near the end,
I've yet to see you ;
My mind has only touched you late at night as I toss and turn.
I try to get closer when my eyes adjust to the light,
Afraid I rest awaiting this wonderment.

NIGHTLY JAUNT September 10, 2001

I see the beauty and perfection in a few viewed stills,
I'm alive in a moon lite creative atmosphere.
I've dumped my shoulders of yesterdays bourdons,
This feeling of rebellion is a newly found joy.
Should I run from such?
Scared as a child from the dark I've become accustom to this.
Nightly jaunts into my mind to scare me back to reality,
Back to a place where my alter wishes me to stay.
I can't think of that now,
Being alone in a strange place makes me weary.
I use to stand here proud,
Now I cowardly watch over the backs of others.
Just like now my mind has vanished,
I'm just here shaking from the cold.

THUS I AM September 10, 2001

A dream means a million gallons of hope,
Yet amongst a pale heart it seems the chain of denial.
You can speak a mindful word and hope it's heard,
You can touch a thousand hearts and long for only one.
Realism should be played for what it's worth,
Forget all the dreams you lied.
Lies them all ;
To which a child can't believe even those words.
Try to define my hatred towards a wish and show me a reason,
It's this life that ties me down.
I want a hope to rest my weary head upon,
I crave a warmth to touch my hand.
A dream means so much to an ill failed heart,
Thus I am and be such ;
Freedom revealed I've captured much pain.
Denounced to me I've caused it all.

REFLECTIONS September 9, 2001

Reflections of what use to be,
Dwell on my poor young lad.
It seems a shy cry aloud to a silenced world.
Scream on sheltered soul,
You alas seem alone ;
Alone to them all.
Wish to a self proclaimed goddess,
She proclaims your mind as her own.
You're powerless,
Remember now so you can reflect on the costs later.

POSTER CHILD September 9, 2001

Hello I say to myself,
It's late at night and I'm trying to recall why I'm here.
I do this often as it seems,
It drives me slowly over to insanity.
Do you have to admit madness?
Can I just be for a day or so then return back to this.
This is the torture I inflict onto myself.
Things haven't changed,
They always remain the same.
I'm just a walking depressive poster child,
Care to say hello?

MY LIFE September 9, 2001

Sitting here wondering why it is I've wondered of you,
Continuously replaying moves I made back and forth
Then back and forth.
Tiresome it seemed before for certain now I need to come to grips,
My mind as complex as I may wish it too be is not.
I'm not this person who resembles every other.
You could have,
That's what I say to you when I fear the loneliness that settles around me.
You could have been,
I scream it aloud when I look upon that simple star we peered upon.
You could have been the one,
I keep saying it over and over like a song and I've become sickened by the lyrics.
Over and over it comes and goes and I'm trying so desperately to move onward,
Remember that pathway that lies before.
Yes that one that Frost spoke of,
I'm caught there waiting for a certain somebody ;
Of which will never show.
This is my so called life.

OF LIVE AND DEATH September 3, 2001

Death is a night alone wishing to a star that dies the next day.
Life is realizing you once were,
But now you just exist to breath.

MY BONES September 3, 2001

Died with the worms,
They flow through my bones.
Home I am in this dirt and filth that surrounds my trails.
Crows sit upon my grave speaking to the fog that surrounds my soul,
It sits there awaiting my removal from the earth.
I thought about that while I was about to jump,
My life has meant a few lines from a few songs.
They sing em when there bored,
Hum them waiting in line to pay for materialistic idles.
I have it all you said before this was read,
My bones scattered among these worms that feed off the lives I never saw.
It's all a book or two then a mini series of how not to be,
And they can preach to them all of how it wasn't suppose to end that way.
Lies revolve around a few thoughts then an action is added,
Before you're aware you live it and are caught behind the scene of an all too familiar dream.
Once I woke up and it wasn't so bad,
Now I wish I wouldn't.
It's a few bones that remain,
Mine and mine alone.

SHOW ME August 29, 2001

Show me something,
Reality would seem a tease to me.
All this we see is a sketched version of our minds,
It plays with our senses and pulls at our hearts.
Our tears smear the images and blends the pain into a rag ;
One that is easily thrown away by some,
Kept by others.
Why so it be that we cry for nothing yet smile for nothing even more?
Show me this,
A simplistic reasoning.
The "aw" and wonder of a lovers kiss,
It's all that reality I've never painted upon.
Haunts and ghosts of pasts that ride my back and I see you there,
Endlessly making me speculate my own flesh.
This distressed man who calls himself not.

FREELOADER August, 27, 2001

You say I'm this,
I'm that bundled up into your voice.
It's amazing to me how much people can eat,
My life is a buffet to some and to others it's just a bad taste.
Finish what you've started!
Have your eyes become to large for your stomach?
I believe it's your turn to pick up the check,
I've paid all along.

RAY OF HOPE August 27, 2001

Pessimistic I am,
Try to tell me different and I'll laugh with madness.
Everything I touch of beauty dies,
I'll cover my hands from this world.
Nothing is nothing,
I am and will be in my mind just ;
Emptiness.
An emptiness that shelters my midnight dream of fears,
This loneliness that haunts my hands.
My eyes see none,
Have yet to see any hope for optimism.
I rely on today with hopes that tomorrow will shine on me.

JUST ONCE August 26, 2001

I spent my days chasing yours.
Heard the laughter, caught the smile.
I spent my life devouring your taste,
Yet I was never the sparkle in your eye.
They broke your heart as I said,
I dried your tears.
It was me in the end,
I was the one ;
You never gave a chance.

SIMPLE REPLY August 19, 2001

I'm intrigued by a mystery.
My eyes have never set focus in yours,
I've never touched your hand.
I heard your voice and it has woven warmth throughout me,
It sounds rather insignificant does it not?
It may if you don't understand.
For an instant I was speechless,
And I stuttered to come up with a simple phrase ;
A simple reply to a good-bye.

DREAM, I'M NOT August 19, 2001

I understand myself less today,
Then yesteryear.
I saw a reflection in a pool of tears that were not of my own,
This reflection was not of me.
Scared of such I screamed to my ears,
Tell my eyes to awaken my thoughts.
Don't trick my lost soul,
It's growing tired of my stupidness ;
It told me so.
I'll lose something that was never mine to lose,
Myself ;
Selfishly as myself I'll become this alter egoistic entity.
The one that I read about in a magazine,
Those that portray preferred behavior.
Tell me of how while I read and read then read some more,
I grow ever so disgusted with what some editor believes I need.
I understand myself as such,
Sorrow in the morrow and it drags my heals till they blister.
Pain and the pain that sur comes my mind,
I trick myself into a dream.
I dream I'm okay,
I'm not.

LOST GIFT August 18, 2001

Running into the night I tripped and bumped my head.
Dazed and confused I looked upon the starry sky for comfort.
Within the clusters of a million homes I recalled your voice.
Warm and cold within,
Mixed emotions has calmed my fears.
I'm lost here,
Caught blinded feeling my way through the pages of my life for a meaning.
Alas I'm always searching myself never letting anyone in.
I'm alone for that,
It's me fighting the cold and dark nights for some kind of meaning ;
Yet I never see it.
It plays amongst my eyes like a movie and I cast away my life,
Seeker of doubts, lover of hate.
I broadcast my own demise amongst this meter and rhyme,
This that others read and dismiss as a talent.
If it is such a wonderful gift why is it so lost?
Lost on me of whom would trade a few months of mine for a day of happiness.

IN THE DARKNESS OF YOU August 18, 2001

There are times I look and wonder where it is you are.
I know you've left, I know we're not.
My mind tricks me,
It's a torture of sorts.
I cause my own pain, I can't blame.
It's your name I call in my own vain.
I smell the night we spent,
I hear your breath in my ear.
Senses woven in a dream and it's all too real.
Trick myself into believing it's all changed,
Yet I'm still here in darkness and your no where to be found.

NEVER BE August 18, 2001

You cannot see,
You never saw.
Missed the points,
Cut the rope that held me up.
I was dead a few times,
You saved me once or twice ;
Yet still dead I am.
I cut your portrait from my mind.
Your face still fills my thoughts,
Hidden in a place I have yet to find.
You can't believe,
You never would.
Missed my life,
Cut the ropes that held my hope.
You were never mine to call my own,
I couldn't see.

PLAGUE August 18, 2001

Plague,
I'm that and so much more.
Disfigured ghosts that run amuck within your realm.
Feel the cold that settles around your feet,
Remember that smell that teased your heart ;
Once.
I'll continue to infect this poem like a virus.
Diminishing until I'm just a speck of dust,
In your carpet.
Problematic soul of none,
I am this plague.

EXIST IN YOU August 18, 2001

Bound behind a deep thick mist,
My mind is a mountain.
High and mysterious,
Can't reach the top ;
It's a never ending story of pain and suffering.
You'll slip on the feelings that bellow from the surface,
Run from me this challenged natural effect.
I'm just existing among from refuged,
Some realism and clues that I exist to you.

APPEAR August 7, 2001

Think not of the time we've lost,
Yet as I speak of us there you stand no where to be seen.
Have I become to self involved?
I of me to who do I speak of?
She alas will vindicate my rumblings,
Yes oh dear o'mine preach of my few values.
It's a mirrored image I suppose,
And yet I believe she'll appear with the morning fog.
The morning fog brings me nothing,
I stand there drenched and shivering.
Appear,
Oh shining sun appear to me and warm my heart.
I've become a saddened poet.
Worse a depressed man,
One who writes for nothing of anything ;
Never more.

SPARE TIME August 6, 2001

Majestic flower,
That teases my senses.
Draws me nearer,
Then nearer.
To close to remember anything but the colored blur.
The closest of closes and you stood so,
Tall there alone among the weeds.
Perfection in a paint whipped impressionists brush.
Royalty among thou subjects,
And I a subject of appreciation ;
To whom you've caught for a few spare minutes.

FIRST August 6, 2001

Close encounters in the back seat of an old brown station wagon,
That's where we met for the first time after so long.
Heated air and steamed windows portrayed a supposed romantic backdrop.
Silence,
Except for the bustling and rustling of hands and skin.
It's funny to think back to where you said "tonight is ours."
Yet I didn't understand then,
I was too much a boy to know why.
I just remember the heat and the smell of your skin,
I sang all the way home ;
Never went to bed till that next day when I fell asleep in your arms.

NO CLUE August 5, 2001

I frown on your idea of what it is I long for.
Of course I'm alone,
It took you to tell me that?
You have no idea do you?
DO YOU???
Do you see me sitting here next to you,
Notice I'm alone?
I'm Mr nice guy remember,
You's keep saying this as if to run around the truth.
You tell me what it is I need,
Seems as I have no fucking clue.

MIDNIGHT CLAIMS July 28, 2001

Just one more look before you leave,
Don't regret my eyes that burn your existence.
I want to remember the thrill at this very moment,
The thrill that encircles the pain that swallows my life whole.
Spit out all the good within myself and drink this elixir.
What youthful dreams and stupid thoughts we wrote.
My pen has run out of ink,
I'm now printing in my own blood.
I need to finish this descriptive allurement.
Oh how it was on that day of days when another day meant nothing,
And you would tell me things and I would listen.
Eat it up!!!
Yes and it was me with my other that followed your charmed scent,
Through your forest and back to your midnight claims.
I sat and ate upon your words and I dreamt, wished and hoped it would never end.
Alas I'm here now remembering and all I want to do is throw up,
Spit out these memories and forget the whole existence that you conjured up.
It was me and myself and possibly I that looked back and saw what I didn't,
I saw nothingness in the sky above the presence that was.
Just one more look before you leave,
So I can tease my eyes with my thoughts.

LOSS July 28, 2001

Should have seen the storm,
But curiosity burned her fingers into my soul.
I waited and watched as the darkness arose around me,
Hoped it was going to pass ;
It should have passed and yet it followed me as I walked.
Optimism looks good on optimists,
The rain of problematic situations falls from the mouths of you.
This wind cools my skin and I'm shivering in my own watered words.
I'm alone with only the shelter of my own hands as they cover my ears,
I can't hear your thunderous footsteps as you stomp on my dream.
I'll cover my eyes so I won't see what I can't remember.
It's easier now to close the door,
Walk onward though I look back to see if the storm has dispersed.
I know this front or concluded mini series needs an ending.
It ended for us when you saw fit,
It ended for me when I realized I'm not at a loss.
You are the one,
v Good-bye!

TO MINE July 22, 2001

Just woke up and gone,
Gone it was.
I check my heart to make sure it still beats.
It's silent now,
Silent ever after in a showered tear.
Recent thoughts brought me out,
Rose my mind towards the sun and scorched my eyes.
I'm aware now,
This time was like before.
I should have seen the sign.
I closed my eyes again.
I open them quickly to see if you've returned.
I see only my reflection,
In this device that introduced your heart ;
To mine.

BALLAD OF A TIRED MAN July 22, 2001

It's the ballad of a tired man,
Take a stand for the dying land.
I this am,
Tired of the work of twenty when one I am.
Slave and drive twenty miles in the dark,
Returning in the dark to sleep for an hour.
Tired of working for everyone else.
The man that fills the pot holes in my roads,
He helps me pay for your children.
Mine is crying,
Cause I'm off at work paying for yours.
I'm tired of the man,
He pries into my world.
Yes my world of candit camera scripts.
Smile you said,
Take a toke on this life.
I'm tired,
Yet can't sleep.
I'm tired,
Yet can't eat ;
Not of food, but of life.
I'm tired of looking for it,
It and that, and her smile.
I searched for a month once,
And she was never found.
I'm tired of this place,
Not of Lunenburg but of this existence.
I tried to walk on the water once,
Almost drowned.
I'll never try that again, sober.
I'm tired of silence,
Bob wales in my ears.
Tells me he's aware of the times,
They are a changing.
I wonder when they will.
I'm tired,
I'm just a tired man.

PUBLIC GRAFFITI July 17, 2001

It's tearing at me,
Like the thickness of that shirt you wear every night to bed.
I'm that thick,
I'm that strong ;
That if you took me and pulled I'd become two.
This tear that streaks my cheek,
Takes days to progress downward.
Reminder of how often it occurs now a days.
I'm done this run,
I can no longer rationalize this fear.
To be alone among a group is by far worse,
Then the hermit that lives in the bush.
At least he forgets the accompaniment of those.
I don't,
I can't forget.
I want to become like stone,
Like before when I stood as a billboard ;
For others to write graffiti upon.

FUTURE July 16, 2001

The future as I see,
Becomes a blur.
I not tire, I not free my mind,
Incase I forget this feeling.
I use to run with my head downward,
Watching life as if passed by from the eyes of a bug.
I looked up one day and saw a note, a few words.
Words you wrote,
Words maybe you spoke.
Told of times of love and passion mixed into a spiritual meaning.
I'm not ;
Not so spiritual though I never look past.
I like learn, and speak my thoughts openly.
Future's present if such can be,
See's me along a few footed marks in a beach,
That biers your name.

FOREVER AFTER July 13, 2001

I'm not as it seems,
You see that I know you do.
Maybe I've opened these gates to let you in,
They don't stay open long.
I've left them open to air out my past.
Grasp them, there not locked.
Push open my skin, look behind ;
And walk into forever after.

MOON GODDESS July 12, 2001

I'm writing these lines for you,
Obscured moon goddess.
Parading, parade around me chanting your songs.
Captivated in optimism, I see a challenge.
Can you finish this line?
I'm feeling what, you said it once.
You know me all to well you know.
Said we're from separate lines,
Like good and evil, ying and yang.
I'm the darkest part of night ;
And you are the light that shines.
Separated by distinctive patterns,
That made the two rivers converge into the sea.
Do you know what I mean?
If I said, I'm here for a while to temp.
Would you agree, or know I'm lying.
Read my eyes while there vibrating in a dream,
Pick my lives, sort them out for a meaning.
I wrote this for you,
You're the moon I see ;
When I cry to the night.

THREE DOTS July 12, 2001

Everything I want to say can be explained in 3 little dots.
... I love you,
... I'm tired of waiting for that.
... your name softly flows off my lips,
... towards the ocean ;
... drown in the surf, died my words that was your name.
... I've been sick, so sick
... I'm coughing again, like before ;
... your soul is in my lungs,
... I can feel it compressing my breaths.
... jumped into this without thinking, erotic to say ;
... days and days in a bed like John did for the soul reason of doing it.
... opening my life to encompass your whole being,
... and why? Don't ask why's and what's and how's.
... It's done now, without provocation.
... My 3 little wonders,
And they make you think, and make you ponder ;
Is it my name that resides in-between those?
Three dots is me.

THANKS, BOB DYLAN July 11, 2001

I envy you,
All the hundreds of thousands words you've written.
Songs and midnight riffs surrounded by the smoke rings.
Envious of you,
My new mentor.
They didn't laugh, they followed.
You broke it out for so many,
They knew what you meant.
Just wanted you to know Bob,
You've done your job.
I'll sing in hopes I can understand ;
More about myself.

ENCORE July 11, 2001

Trials and error,
Photographs in colored hues.
Depictions of you, of me ;
Of us in a happy setting.
The actors take stage for an encore,
I'll play me, you can play her.
I'll jump into this, unaware of the pain to follow.
You can take me, hold me and throw me away.
I'm sorry, it's the way this play is written,
It's the way it's always written for me.
I'm use to this portrayal,
Is there any other way?
If I jump in like before, I go into the water too soon.
I've scared the fish away before I get a chance to see there beauty,
They swim with such grace and yet I never get to see it.
I'm scared,
I've gotten stage fright.
Hold my hand like in my dreams.
Don't let me freeze up here, while they stare at me.
Line, Line, I forget my line.
Good-bye?
Was that it, good-byes bring me such unhappiness.
It's not for long, it's not,
You lie and then I die alone.
It's not you, it's them,
They've made me scared ;
Break this repetition,
Repetition,
Repetition.
Take this script and edit out the ending,
Make it one of us.
Of you and I saying that last line,
While they applaud that final scene.
Encore, Encore ;
There will be none.